My life has been a landslide this summer, but summer's almost up and I'm facing a new year and a whole slew of hellos and goodbyes...more goodbyes than I think I'm prepared to handle. I'm facing a lot of personal ghosts but also some amazing prospects for the future. While a part of me wishes that this summer could last forever and I could forget about leaving and classes and figuring life out all over again, logically, I know that everything will work out (one way or another). Yes, there are things I am looking forward to, but in order to reach those I need to let go and plunge myself into a year that, quite honestly, scares the bejesus out of me!
I'm in a much better place than I was before. I've been forcing myself to let go (or at least put some things on the back burner), and it's helping me find a bit of clarity. I know it's going to be a stressful year; I know I'm going to be worried about a thousand things...but there's no point dwelling on the ones I can't change. Yes, they will always be there in the back of my mind, and yes, once in a while they're still going to get to me but I can't change a darned thing! *sigh*
On a more positive note, I only have a few more weeks before I'll be back in the classroom! I'm soooo close...and still incredibly impatient. Even more impatient to have my own classroom, but that's a whole different ballgame. What matters is that I will BE IN A CLASSROOM!!! Part of me is still terrified, but I'm oh-so-excited at the same time. I keep wondering who my cooperating teacher will be. What class will I be teaching? What school will I be teaching in? How old will my students be? I love that I'm getting another field placement this semester, and I'm full of that ready-to-go-out-and-change-the-world attitude! Maybe if I focus on that I can forget about all the other stuff that's bouncing around my brain...more on that another night.